Chrissy

blah.......

Sat, 03 Aug 2002 07:47:28 GMT

So wow.... it has been a long time and I don't know why I feel the need to write in here again....I just do. Life is so completely different than i had it planned out to be for myself. Maybe though one day it will get back on track. In fact I'm working on it now. I sleep now...that I guess is the first step to getting back to normal....INSOMNIA BE GONE!!!!! For 2 years I hardly slept at all and now I sleep so much it is a difficult change as suprising as that sounds. But I am also fixing the other screw ups ni my life...dealing with then...getting over them. It is so funny I was "the happiest person I knew in high school". Even I believed me. But I am happier now. I guess that is why I am writing in this...to let people know that i hardly talk to that I'm okay. You loose some friends...you keep some friends and the ones I want to keep, weither I've made a huge effort or not to over the past year I am going to keep. The ones that are true friends I want to make an effort with...and the ones who fooled me...even though everyone else saw through them...well they can kiss my ass. So I love you who stayed the good people I always new you were! Okay I dont know how this turned to all that oh well !! Good night all I am off to go sleep!:)

CRRRRRack!

Tue, 15 Jan 2002 09:05:03 GMT

Chapped lips are the worst. I mean are noticably chapped but when i smile if i dont have chap stick on I can feel the skin stretching. IT HURTS! Oh well I know evryone goes through it every year muliple times a year. But sometimes it just burns. Okay I'm done.

Mon, 07 Jan 2002 07:56:07 GMT

Why does everything in life have to be so fucking complicated?

Thu, 03 Jan 2002 07:12:15 GMT

So in a perfect world all your friends would like all your other friends.... to bad we live in what is very far from a perfect world. Oh well I'm over it. So right now is the first time I've used my new computer and the greatest part is that I am not freezing my ass off in the basement. Oh my gosh I cleaned! I cleaned for days...very unlike me! Anyways so I haven't written in awhile. Let me see... New years was so much fun just the girls we ate and ate and ate and well...ate some more.
How do I always manage to work when I'm off. Today I called to find out if I had any over due movies and low and behold I was begged to come in. So I did and it was a good thing b/c there must have been a good 600 movies, dvd's and games sitting on the floor waiting to be checked in. So Mere was there at the time trying to rent a movie and she got sucked into staying to so off we were but we had fun and by 5 our whole staff was in. So yeah it was a busy day at Blockbuster. A most amusing day too though. Found out about Dorothy's mom and hewr driving experience. Oh and mere ad I decided that we definatally need to form a girl band. But we will be more of a comedy singing group... but it is just the 2 of us now we are still looking for others. Anyways i guess I'm ending this now bye live journal and anyone who might be reading this.

Tue, 25 Dec 2001 06:14:29 GMT

So it is Christmas morning....barely...but never the less it is. I am up, though not for much longer. We opened presents tonight at home! Well first we had a nice family dinner. My mom made stuffed shells! They were awesome! Then presents. I got some cds a purse, a cell phone/wallet thing, a book set, a cd rom and a mouse pad....for MY NEW COMPUTER!!!! Exciting huh? Well I thought so. Anyways I just wanted to express my excitment. Then I went back to work and exchanged gifts. Lots of fun. Anyways I'm off to bed! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

*a side note to Misty*
Sorry my last post freaked you out to much. I swear it is nothing and the world is not ending.
BYE!

Sun, 23 Dec 2001 09:46:17 GMT

Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? I feel like I have hurt someone really close to me only I don't know what. I just have this feeling in my stomache that is just throbbing. I only get that feeling when deep down I know something isn't right. I'll just have to figure it out and set it right. That is the only way to solve it.
On another note.... I feel absolutally helpless. All I want to do is help those closest to me. And I can help others but when the one person who I want to help the most needs it I don't know what to say or do to help. I feel like I'm letting them down. Maybe I am. Maybe that is what is eating at my stomache. I guess time will tell.

Wed, 19 Dec 2001 08:49:15 GMT

So it is like 3:50 in the morning. I can't sleep. I pick up Kristin tommorow, well today I meet her tommorow abotu noon. I am so excited! Except her gift isn't finished! :(
So I was just reading Jenny's journal. I talk to her a lot but I still don't know what is going on with her. I want to help I just don't know how. But hey since you'll probably read this... you know I'm here if you need me.
I need to go do some more laundry so bye all!

I am fucking PISSED!!!

Mon, 17 Dec 2001 06:34:57 GMT

I am so pissed! I would like to say I am not a moron! I am not stupid! I made a decision about a customer and his late fee. He was a jerk and an asshole. Misty and I left a long warning about him. Then Amanda goes and takes the fucking fee off. After he treated Misty and I like shit and walked the fuckign movie in late! He didn't even have a damn reason. I know how to do my job. Then Amanda turns around and just undoes things for a man who has only rented 2 movies! I am so pissed at her. He was a jerk and deserved to pay the 4 bucks!

Mon, 19 Nov 2001 04:45:03 GMT

OKay so Saturday night I met Kim at Waho abotu 10:45. We sat for awhile then went up to North Ga's observatory. It was so clear the stars were so bright. It was beautiful. We were there for the meteor shower. It was actually quite amazing. I saw hundreds of meteors it isnt supposed to be as good as it was last night for another 45 years. Seeing them shooting through the sky was truely an experience. I'm so glad Kim was with me. We froze our asses off together sat there while some really REALLY obnoxious people came up to us and started talking to us...we pretended to listen. Anyways I had fun... I was so tired later on but i guess sitting in the cold for 6 hours can do that to you. So thank you Kim for coming with me and not cancelling on me! I love you!

Fri, 09 Nov 2001 05:24:32 GMT

I miss people well everyone but the 3 people I miss the most.... Kristin, Kelly, and Jenny. I think I will call everyone them this weekend.

Update

Wed, 24 Oct 2001 04:30:20 GMT

I haven't updated in awhile so I thought I should. Lets see Wednesday saw Michael. I said I wouldn't but I did it was nice. I wouldn't even sit next to him. :O) Anyways Friday was great I saw MANY people I hadn't seen in awhile. It was so nice. Well except I had to talk to someone I am not particularlly fond of. But oh weel what can you do right? Anyways later that night I went to a party it was fun but I didn't stay all that long. Then The next morning I babysat and had fun. I love these kids! Oh and I did Mere's hair for homecoming. Then worked at night. Worked sunday. Went to school monday then worked at night. That brings me to Tuesday (i guess now considered yesterday) I was at my store by 8 am (WAY TOO EARLY). We were straightening another store. I had a lot of fun. I have never been around Tracy for such a long period of time. I really like her a lot. Yeah by 5:30 I was so tired i was about to fall over. But thats okay b/c Misty and Rob were right there with me absolutally exhausted. ANyways then we went to pick up dorothy. She is spending the night with me tommorow night! OKay now that Ive updated Im done.

Stars, shakes, strangers, and the oh so familar Michael

Tue, 16 Oct 2001 07:37:27 GMT

So I got home at about 3 am and I was unlocking the garage door when I looked up. What did I see? Well I say a clear sky and the stars there shinning bright. They were so beautiful!! I wanted to sit out there and just look at them forever. The funny thing is that I think I would be satisfied doing just that as long as I had company now and then I'd be content.
Tonight I sat with Misty at Stake and shake for almost 2 hours. It was fun we drank milk shakes (i am addicted) and talked. There were some interesting people there one such Misty new but couldn't figure out how. Then she figured it out and it was a really funny story.
New topic strangers... it is funny how much you can love them at sometimes and hate them at other times. Well hate is much to strong a word dislike I like that better. Do you ever notice how much you truely depend on strangers. It is funny how they can make you feel better then some of the people you are closest too. I guess that is b/c the people you already know don't really feel the need to shead kind words. I mean you already like them.
Last topic...once again Michael. How is it that he moved away..gone...he's gone yet, he is still there? Well he comes in town this weekend. To see him or not to see him(?)...that is the question. I don't know what to do. I mean I would like to be friends with him just that doesn't seem to work out. But there were sometimes when we really had a good time together. I talked to Misty about this... he would sit there and watch old movies with me and cook dinner for me. I really liked that side of him. BUt then there were so many other sides and about Half of them I didn't like. But I have a pretty busy and full weekend so far so I probably wouldn't have time to see him anyhow. I guess that's a good thing...right?

Mon, 15 Oct 2001 04:25:16 GMT

FRIDAY:
After classes I went home and chilled for awhile before I left to go visit Kelly. I left about 3. Oh my gosh the traffic was terrible!!! Anyways I got to Kelly's about 3 hours later. So anyways we ate Chinese for dinner. One of my favorite things in the world to do eat chinese with Kelly! Then we just hung out for awhile then eventually went out and drank a little. I met her roomie Lindsay (she's really nice) and her friend Paul who is friggin' hilarious and VERY talkative. Anyways then we had some bad taco bell. I seriously think we got food poisoning. BUt over all I had a great time. I think Kelly was worried I didn't. Bless her heart she always worries and feels like we have to be doing the most exciting thing at all times when I am around new people. She justs wants me to like her new friends and have fun.

SATURDAY:
Woke up and left Kelly's about 11 and went home and relaxed till work. WOrk wonderful work. Got hit on by some random guy as I was straightening the New Release wall. Oh and Mere told me I had an ugly face. Joking of course even if she really thought I did (who knows if I do) she wouldn't say it. Anyways then I went to Stake and Shake with Misty after closing for a milkshake.

SUNDAY:
Woke up at 2 oclock (lazy me) and I was abotu to make somehitng to eat when Dennis called and was like you didn't know that your schedule was changed did you. I was supposed to be in at 2 only I didn't know it so I went in and worked till 9. The time went by pretty fast the first 4 hours but the last 2 were SO long! Oh well I eventually went home and read more of Going to Ground and here I am now.

star light, star bright ,wont you guide me home tonight?

Wed, 10 Oct 2001 06:45:04 GMT

Ho Hum! It is almost over... my string of tests ends tommorow at 9:50. Thank GOD! Lets see tommorow I get my hair cut. How exciting! I love getting my hair cut I feel pampered. I love feeling pampered! Anyways so tonight I went up to the Observatory. It was fun! I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would. It crisp out tonight. Just the kind of weather I love! I was outside looking at the stars through a telescope. The only thing that would have madee it nice was if the sky was just a touch less cloudy and it was me and a special someone. But thats okay b/c I had a good time anyways. Anyhow I have to go back tommorow night again. I love graded things that are fun. Anyways so yeah it is like 2:40 in the morning I supose i should go get some sleep now.

test 1,2,3

Mon, 08 Oct 2001 05:45:36 GMT

This week:
Monday: Music Appericiation test (the teacher says it
will be the hardest one we have in this class)
Tuesday: Astronomy test
Wednesday: Math test
How exciting for me!

My great, wonderful, fun, entertaining, and enjoyable day

Sun, 07 Oct 2001 22:22:19 GMT

La La La!!! So I had the greatest day yesterday! I worked from 9:30-5:30 which was you know work. WOrk is work. It was with Spencer so I had fun then Mike and Jeremy came in and they are entertaining. But Sam and Aubrey came into the store!!! So anyways I planned to meet them at Sam's at 7:30. So it was Sam, Aubrey, Emily and Courtney (aka "the twins"),Melanie and Meredith (Sam's sister). We went to the fair and had so much fun! It had been a long time since I'd seen all of them especially together. We had so much fun we even saw and elephant pee. My life has now completed it's circle i can die now. It was seriously that amusing. Anyways then we went to applebees for awhile and we were as loud and obnoxious as we ever were in high school. It was great. Then we all went our seperate ways and my way happened to be in the same shopping center at my place of employment for ny store meeting. The meeting was pretty much stuff I already knew. Like have of our staff wasn't there... suprise, suprise but thats okay whatever. But after the meeting some of us hung around and talked yeah I totally put my foot in my mouth like 3 times! Oh well i didn't get home till almost 5 am! ANyways I just wanted to write abotu my great day. And next friday night Mel and I are going to visit Kelly and the next weekend I am going to Mississippi to visit same and see there production of Godspell. So I have good times ahead! Well I'm off now.
Side note to misty: I started.

Oh the dissapointment.....

Thu, 04 Oct 2001 20:21:32 GMT

*Sigh* So Late last night I was told James was coming to town this weekend. I was so excited. I haven't seen my bro in like a month. Well this afternoon he called...he's not coming. I uunderstand why he has alot of work to do. I do too and this weekend I wouldn't have gotten to spend much time with him but still you know?? Well I'm off to take a shower before my lab tonight.

illness

Wed, 03 Oct 2001 04:03:58 GMT

Being sick sucks a big fat one. I am living in a hell. I was in bed almost all day long. All i wanted to do was get up and do something but when i tried it wore me out even more and I would fall right back into bed. I HATE COLDS!!! I think that is what it is that and synus issues. I freakin fell asleep at work the other night. I should have called in sick but I didn't and I feel asleep stickering PVT's. How terrible. Anyways I am off to go load up on cough medicine, tylenol (to get rid of my fever), some kind of decongestant (or however you spell it) and any other medicine that might make me feel at least somewhat better. I have class bright and early tommorow.

Good Times

Sat, 29 Sep 2001 05:48:49 GMT

So yeah I had a good night. I was supposed to go to Kelly's but that didn't work out so I'm going next Friday and I am really looking forward to it. So i was a little bummed at first today but I got over it. I went to work for a couple of hours b/c Blockbuster is going through a lot of changes and there is a lot to be done. I ended up being there for hours. I had a great night. We had so much fun. It was Misty, Dennis, Amanda, Tommy, Jeremy, Nick (a new guy) and myself. I don't know what was so much fun about it but it was a blast. I was laughing all night. Not one person annoyed me...well except when i got back from getting dinner and found old "special" Nick there. I really can't stand him. But other wise it was fun. Everyone just maded me smile and laugh and it is nicece to have people around who can do that. So yeah thats all right now I'm just waiting for misty to get online.(Misty if you get on line and I'm not on anymore HI!) OH and HELLO to the rest of you out there. I love you all!

Ugly Feet, Pounds of Makeup, and Trouble Consentrating

Fri, 28 Sep 2001 18:08:46 GMT

First of all today I woke up 5 minutes after I should have left the house. Opps! So I just barely made it to school on time. If I got there after she closed the door exactly at 9 am I wouldn't have been allowed in. So I am sitting there with my Math quiz in front of me and I can't seem to focus on it. I look over and i see the guy's feet next to me...then i see the guys feet on the other side of me. They were both wearing flip flops and I am thinking how ugly their feet are. I think about how feet in general are ugly but guys just seem to have even uglier. They have bigger feet and they are hairier. Anyone who knows me knows I HATE feet. Then I started thinking about makeup... and how girls were SO much makeup. This one girl... had on this purple eyeshadow up to her eyebrows and way to much foundation on way to thick not to mention globs of mascara. Make up is made to bring out, and highlight you natural beauty (everyone has natural beauty) not create a whole new mask. I thought about all this while I should have been working on my quiz. OH well. So I was supposed to go visit Kelly today but I haven't heard from her yet so I guess I'm not going. I don't know...we'll see. ANyways James... James is going to be joining the National Guard come the begining of 2002. I am proud of him; he has come so far since last year this time.anyway this is all for now.

Fri, 28 Sep 2001 04:52:16 GMT

Secrets and Lies... they seriously can take over. They haven't taken over my life but they stress me out. You know...you lie to protect someone's feelings... you keep secrets to protect someone's feelings but it is just stressful to keep them. OH well. I'll deal.

THOUGHTS

Mon, 24 Sep 2001 17:27:31 GMT

So I'm sitting here in the libray b/c I have time to blow before my last class. My favorite class might I add. And I am thinking about well everything and anything. I'm thinking about Jenny and how I hope she's doing okay and that if she needs me she'll call me. I'm thinking abotu how the last 3 times Kelly has been in town I haven't gotten to spend anytime with her (that makes me sad). And how much I miss Kristin. She is the person I have been friends with the longest and even though we are complete opposites I think we were just made to be friends. I am thinking about how much fun I have with the people I work with and how grateful I am to have Misty and Dorothy (even when they make fun of me). I am thinking..."Do I talk to much?" HELL I probably do but why should I care... I like doing it. It is fun and most of the time I am entertaining someone. "Am I too dramatic?" Once again probably so but that is the way I am. I am thinking about how Liz is different yet... she's the same. I am thinking about my future...how it is not clear. How I wish I just had a clear picture of what I would end up like....will I have a job I like... will I be married or will I be alone all my life (i like to think no) will i have kids and if so will i be a good mom (i really want kids). Well sadly only time wil tell.
OH...I'm still thinking....thinking about Michael and how I'm glad he's gone but I'm glad he left with us on good terms instead of a fight or well all the other bad things we went through. And I'm so thankful to Misty for always listening to my problems wiht him and to Kristin for not laughing and saying anything about how much it was like her and Justin (whom I never liked and always made sure she knew it).
Thinking about all of my friends from high school that I haven't talked to and I wish them all nohting but the best in life adn in their futures. I'm thinking now I should end this. SO farewell.

E.S.P.

Sat, 22 Sep 2001 04:25:22 GMT

I feel like I can sense things...well maybe not sense things. I don't know. Do you believe in ESP? I think I believe in it. There have been a lot of things lately I don't know maybe I am just really good at reading people. But I get feelings it is weird. Hell maybe I am just reading into things that aren't really there.

A PLAN!

Thu, 20 Sep 2001 06:37:42 GMT

This is it! I am buckeling down! I am making a plan... and I am sticking to it! I am going to try harder at everything I do. I have walked around lately with this huge I don't care attitude. You can see it purely in the way I look. I have looked like a bum for weeks. I haven't stayed in contact with friends. I haven't been studying as much as I should. I haven't been sleeping well. I haven't been eating and when I do it is junk. No more...I am going to care about how I look. I am going to keep better contact... in fact I'm goign to visit friends at their schools. I am going to study more... if that means I work less...well then so be it. Sleeping well... I am going to a doctor. Eating... I'll eat 3 meals a day... healthy meals. I'll exercise on a regular basis. Maybe if I do all of this I will stop getting sick. And I can just live you know? Breath. I need to breath. Hell everyone needs to breath... BREATH EVERYONE!

FALL!!!! YEH!

Mon, 17 Sep 2001 04:00:29 GMT

Fall is in the air! I love fall! It is my favorite time of the year! With the cool air...all the beautiful colors! I hope what we have now isn't just a front and it is actually fall. I love sweaters and sweats. I can't wait to put away all my summer clothes!